I woke up with the thought - what if I just stopped? Stopped analyzing every emotion, every speck of loneliness, every word for some profound hidden meaning. What if I didn't pick at the tiniest scab in the world until there was blood & pus & foul language exploding from it? What if I actually used that energy for something else? I could have written a dozen e-books or built the golden downline with all the time & effort I've put into trying to "figure out" men/love/life/etc - so I'm giving it a rest. My goal for 2009 is to put both feet on the same side of the door & work & love & have fun without analyzing every moment. No more should I stay or go or maybe I should change my deadline for deciding if I should stay or go - I'm here until I'm not.
This feels like a epiphany - but God gave me a little nudge last week while I was watching the Christmas Tree lot across from Gas-Up - my own little pot of gold:
The pictures don't really portray the impact - a full double rainbow over West Asheville. It says it all - this is as much paradise as any other place will be. Most pastures are green from across the road - but the greener they are, the more piles of poop there are that must be navigated - you can't have growth without fertilizer.
So here's to 2009 - may our hearts stay pure & our shoes clean.
